This is mine.

My Raving Lunacy Ch 5

2007-05-19T17:32:43Z

My Raving Lunacy
Chapter Five

(A/N: Well, this might be wandering into M-rated-land. I personally don't think it is, because it could be much more graphic.)

Conclusion

JD moved awkwardly to the side to allow Perry to rise. He was having a hard time, with his jeans getting so snug. He simply had to free himself, so he stood up. His hand slid to the button-fly, and he stared at Perry's back, waiting for the moment when his mentor would turn around and see him.

Perry poured Scotch into his glass, and turned to face JD. His hand paused, and he stood with his mouth open, eyes wide. His heart was racing from the sight before him.

His younger friend had pulled the t-shirt out of the waist, and was slowly unbuttoning his Levi's, freezing Perry's gaze with his blue eyes. When JD got to the second-to-the-last button, Perry saw the black bikini briefs and licked the Scotch residue from his lips.

"Mabel, are you SURE about this? Because I like it hard and rough, and I don't want to truly hurt you. Well, maybe a little bit I do."

JD drew a deep breath, not replying. He hooked his thumbs into the waist of the jeans, and took his time pulling them down, so Perry could get a long, long look. JD smiled that sweet smile Perry adored, though he could never admit that to his newbie. The jeans were bunched around JD's ankles, and Perry still couldn't move.

JD stepped out of one leg, then the other, the motion almost delicate and feminine. It was his way of telling Cox that he was done with his little control game. Perry had agreed to this one evening, while both were not quite sober, but not so wasted that they'd forget what would go down.

JD was now in his black bikinis and tight black shirt, and nothing else. He lifted the shirt so it was snug above his tummy, and arched his hips toward Perry.

"Oh God, newbie," Perry whispered over his glass. He could finally say it, and it felt good. He loved JD's lean body, the way the muscles flowed down to his hips, and that little curve over his firm thighs. He wanted to kneel before him and trace his fingers over JD, feeling every soft inch of him, grasp those thighs, bury himself in him.

A finger signalled Perry to dare to come closer, and his feet moved without any command from the brain. Perry stood in front of JD, and took a gulp of his Scotch. JD grabbed his hips and pushed against him, grateful that they were close to the same height. Perry hummed with pleasure against the glass, before JD reached up to remove it from his hand and set it down.

"Kiss me, Dr Cox."

Perry put his hands on JD's hips, and slammed roughly into him. He released the hips, and wrapped his hands over the pliant throat, tangling his fingers in the hair. He drew JD's tongue into his mouth, wrapping his lips around it, trying his damnedest to suck it down his throat.

He released JD long enough to say, "You know what else I want to suck down my throat, newbie?"

JD leaned his head on Perry's shoulder, rubbing against him in acknowledgement. He mumbled breathlessly to the shoulder, "I think I'll die, Per, literally die. Just picturing it, and I'm about to come all over you."

"Hmmm, shouldn't take long." Perry dropped to his knees, and at the same time drew JD's briefs down. No preamble, no drawn-out foreplay and getting used to the idea that he was going to get to know JD in a whole new way tonight. He wanted it in his mouth, and he wanted it NOW!

JD screamed when he felt the lips wrap around him, the warm tongue lapping the length of him, the enclosing throat drawing him in. He dug his hands into the curly hair, encouraging Cox to go faster. His mentor was in a frenzy, his throat vibrating with pleasure. JD had to watch. He was pleased to see Perry watching the action as well as he was drawn in, out, in, out.

Perry couldn't control himself, he groaned when he dug his fingers into JD's firm ass. The groans increased in intensity as the fury arose in him, the hunger to draw JD as far into his mouth as he could. His pelvis thrust in time with his mouth, and he imagined that he was pounding into JD, holding the narrow hips, looking down at himself piledriving into his young friend.

Cox pulled back enough to exclaim, "Yes, JD, do it, I want you to do it, into me, down my throat, I want to taste you."

JD howled and held Perry against him, the muscles tightening in his groin as he found release. He couldn't have imagined how incredible it could be, feeling the throat muscles moving like a wave around him.

Perry gulped and looked up at JD. The expression on his face was beautiful to him, and he'd hold that memory forever. JD's mouth was agape as he hyperventilated, the oxygen plowing into his brain. He started to stagger backwards, but Perry held him with his hands over his ass.

"Careful, newbie," he said, standing up to steady JD. He turned him around, holding him against him. "Come over here, JD, I can't wait much longer."

Cox moved back till he once again felt the coffee table. He remained standing, one arm around JD, the hand moving up to the t-shirt, slipping underneath. JD was panting, and Cox leaned his head on his shoulder, his mouth against his ear. "It's okay, JD, I've got you, relax my friend, it'll be all right. I need you now!" He nibbled the ear, his lips tickling the lobe. He whispered, "I told you I like it rough."

Perry's hands released JD for a moment, but he continued nibbling and kissing JD's ear and neck, not wishing to sever the contact. He quickly unfastened his pants, moving them down to free himself. JD leaned into him, feeling Cox pressed against the black bikinis that still hung over his ass. He wriggled desperately against Perry.

"Soon enough, newbie," Perry whispered. He reached around JD, holding his two fingers out. "Suck them, get them soaked with that sweet mouth"

JD obeyed, and soon Perry moved one hand down, hooking over the bikinis and drawing them off JD. He slid his wet fingers under JD, sliding up and down, in and out.

Perry's deep voice penetrated the haze JD was in, and he said over and over, "Relax, relax, let your muscles go, just melt over your bones, let me hold you. I've got you, JD."

While he recited into JD's ear, over and over, he sat down and moved JD, who was utterly under his control. JD's back was still to him, and Perry lifted the younger man's legs over his thighs, making him straddle him. JD felt Perry, and he wriggled his ass once more as if saying Get on with it!

Perry kept his hands on JD's hips and said, still in that deep, hypnotic voice, "Move back, JD, take your time, relax your muscles, lean on me. I'll let you control this part of it, it's all on you."

"Hmmmmm," JD groaned as he instinctively obeyed whatever his mentor told him. JD braced his hands on Perry's knees and carefully backed up and gasped when he made contact. His thighs lifted him up, then down, and JD mumbled to himself, repeating Perry's exhortation to relax, relax, let the muscles go.

It didn't take long, since Perry had prepped him with his moist, long fingers. JD was high and utterly relaxed. He sat down with one final groan, Perry completely encased in him.

Perry leaned back, bracing himself on his hands, watching the young man before him. He started with the neck, drawing his gaze down the long, lean back, ending at seeing himself buried in JD.

He moaned when JD started moving up and down, over and over, and closed his eyes. He thrust in time with JD's steady, ever increasing rhythm, the younger man leaning forward to get the angle of attack just right.

"JD, yes, go, harder, don't be afraid of hurting me, you could never hurt me!"

"Yes!" JD screamed, one hand holding himself so they could reach their peaks together.

"Do it, slam, slam!" Perry growled, the muscles in his groin tightening, the promise of the coming glory that was about to blow his mind.

Their howls rang around the living room as they climaxed, and JD was boneless as he collapsed against Perry. His mentor quickly sat up to catch him, holding him against his chest, wrapping his arms around him.

"Shhhh, JD," he whispered. "I've got you, my friend, as I'll always have you. Lean on me."

JD started humming the song, his eyes closed, an angelic smile lighting his face. He mumbled in a dazed slur, "You know, I think Maddie did me a favor giving me that stuff, Perry, if it can make sex so freakin' awesome."

Perry softly said, "You've got tonight, kid, and that's it. No more getting high for you. Next time someone invites you to a rave, come see me first and I'll smack the shit out of you if you're thinking about it."

JD nodded and said, "Fair enough."

Post-Script - Earlier That Night

Mad returned to the same spot she'd left JD in his doped up state, when he was dancing by himself unaware that she'd left. She looked around and said to the two muscular men who'd accompanied her, "I know I left him right here. The THC oil was hitting him, I know, he wouldn't have moved from the spot he was grooving on. You're taller than me, see if you can spot him. He's wearing all black with a denim vest, he's got wild-ass hair. Can't miss that."

The men looked through the crowd with her, but no Dr Dorian, no victim for their macabre little play in the basement.

Mad pushed her way through the crowd, her two goons following her. She asked the bouncer, "Did you see that geek leave here?"

"Yeah, him and some guy with crazy-ass eyes left together. Dude came to the door, said he was a doctor, and threatened to bury his foot up my ass if I didn't let him in. Guy was a scary son of a bitch."

"Shit," Mad cursed under her breath. "Dorian would've been perfect. Now we'll just have to find another victim."

Dorian and Cox sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

2007-05-19T15:23:24Z

These are images that JD/Cox fans are free to use, manipulate, alter, whatever. Credit or not, doesn't matter. I don't own [scrubs] so these aren't really mine.

1.
"Let me take you on a magic wheelchair ride."

2.
Perry, dancing around JD: "I'm gonna get me some, I'm gonna get me some!"
JD, thinking You bet your sweet, firm ass you are. Oh, baby.

3.
JD, talking about Perry: "I'm gonna probe ya!" (BTW, he's really saying that there.)

4.
"Perry, I know you're staring at my hard little nipples and my treasure trail. Feel free to touch, no need to think about it."

5.
Yes, Dr John Michael Dorian does have muscles!

6.
JD thinking, If I stand like this, Perry has got to notice my firm ass and smoothe hips!

7.
JD screams, "Perry! Your ass, my fist!"
(Sorry, folks, I just had to do this, even though the idea of fisting utterly squicks me!)

8.
(Perry's off-camera) "Cox, I'm going for the cock and there's nothing you can do about it!"

New "Scrubs" Icons

2007-05-13T22:27:45Z

I have some new icons for people to use who love "Scrubs," primarily Dr Perry Cox.

Please don't use the ones that say "Personal Use," those are mine. Credit me or not, I don't care. I have the originals at 200x200 that folks can use as well. Look for those under the Scrubs folder on my PB.

Checking in with my peeps

2007-05-13T13:48:23Z

I've been hanging about on the JD/Cox LJ community, but thought I'd post this here too. It involves slash (M/M lovin') between Drs Dorian and Cox on "Scrubs."

Thanks to the very appreciated feedback about my first Scrubs fic, I've edited it to remove little annoyances like "newb," to have only Carla calling JD "Bambi" and changed the action a little in the final scene of "My Fallen Idol." After watching it again, I realized I had it a bit askew.

Any way, here're the links to the updated versions, if you found yourself unable to read it earlier due to these earlier, untried efforts:

M-rated version, FF.net:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3523472/1/
A continuation of My Fallen Idol. JD wondered why on earth he'd react that way, just because Perry said JD. Thanks., and touched him on the shoulder. Slash! UPDATED, thanks for the concrit my fellow JDCox fans!
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,868 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 5-5-07 - Published: 5-5-07

MA-rated version, AFF.net:

http://tv.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091524
COMPLETE JD/Cox A continuation of the episode. "JD. Thanks." Perry told him. Why did JD's body react to a simple touch? Anal,Bi,Mild D/s,M/M,Oral
TV Shows > Scrubs
Author [kosmic.child] -:- Rated [Adult++] -:- Chapters [6] -:- Published [2007-05-05] -:- Updated [2007-05-06] -:- Edited [2007-05-13] -:- Hits [386] -:- Reviews [1] -:- Average / Total Vote [+++++ / 1]

Review and rating (on aff.net) would be most righteous! I love constructive feedback, as you can see, so anything to help me improve would be wonderful.

Images from "My Fallen Idol" ("Scrubs")

2007-05-12T04:49:04Z

This is one of my very favorite episodes.

Perry hears JD isn't coming.

JD: "...never admit it."

"That's not it."

"...no words."

"JD. Thank you."

A parting, and loving, pat on the shoulder.

Hmmm, what's JD smiling about?

Am I being too a-r about this?

2007-05-08T12:25:36Z

Time for me to bitch, 'cause I try to keep myself from doing so at work.

I answer phones in a call center for a branch of UW Medicine (University of Washington). I schedule appointments, take refill requests, answer patients' questions, things like that.

Some of our network providers are not medical doctors. We've got ARNPs (registered nurse practitioners) and PAs (physician's assistants). All three of these providers work as PCPs (Primary care providers).

Bitch Number One: Something I hear way too often, when someone's explaining what a PA is and can do (this one really makes me grind my teeth), "They're pretty much like a medical doctor...."

GRRRRRRRRR!! I know I tend to idolize doctors. My doctor, who's a few months younger than I, always refers to herself by her first name with me, but I've never called her anything but Dr. Whenever I hear the above, I ask myself, "Yeah, you tell that to a medical doctor, that a PA is essentially the same as they are."

Bitch Number Two: Referring to one of the PAs or ARNPs as "Dr." I hear this WAAYYYYY too often from my co-workers. Early on in this job, I'd say it kind of loud to correct them, but I've been getting the impression people think I'm a bitch if I do so. When a patient refers to one of them as "Dr." I say, "Just to let you know, so-and-so isn't a doctor," and I explain to them what the provider is. I stress that as a PCP, in the state of Washington at least, they can all do prescriptions, and referrals, things like that. I looked up on the state licensing site about the different types of providers, and it says PAs can do about 80% of what an MD can. I think one of the main differences is that they can't do procedures (you know, surgery?) I found this out just recently, so I point that out to people. I personally don't want a PA or ARNP, when I can go to an MD. I even told them once, when I was calling to schedule myself. "I only want an MD." Hey, I'm calling in as the patient, it's my choice. I know there are many of our patients who absolutely LOVE the PA or ARNP they're seeing, which I totally dig. If they're happy with the relationship, that's fine by me.

Bitch Number Three: The resident situation. Being a teaching organization, we often have residents at some of our clinics, going for family medicine or internal medicine specialization. When an opening comes up for a resident, I tell the patients that they're residents, and I usually get some hesitation. I stress they ARE medical doctors, they've got their degree, and that they're going for additional training. An attending physician would be with them at the time of the visit, so they may very well get their favorite IM or FP doctor at the same time. I personally love seeing residents. When I had my son at the UW hospital, it was a resident that caught him, the "real" OB standing right by the resident's side, watching the whole thing, not saying a word. I knew that if something serious came up, she'd jump into action and take over from him. When I go to their eye clinic, I always have a resident check me over first (I have very weird eyes), then the attending ophthalmologist comes in and does his or her thing. Nothing at all wrong with residents; how do folks think doctors get trained, after all?

I've been on a "Scrubs" kick, and I had to smile yesterday, the way I hear about residents and attendings all day. I'm learning the process (finally):

Intern -- you're still in school. You don't have your MD yet.
Resident -- you've received your MD, and you're now a doctor, but haven't finished the additional training.
Attending (aka Precepting) -- you've fully completed your medical training, and may now be practicing, teaching interns and residents, or going on for specialization (such as ophthalmology, hematology, etc etc).

I see a lot of our doctors' bios saying they're a Fellow or something like that. I think once they're out of residency, they do additional hours (per year) focused on a specialty, take the board exams, and are accepted into various medical organizations as a full-fledged "Fellow." I'm still unclear on this. Eg, my doctor is on some board of Family Medicine Practitioners.

One minor gripe is a PSR at one of our clinics calls their residents "interns." I asked him once, Intern? He said, Yeah, yeah, I always get those mixed up. I said, Big difference, you know.

That particular clinic draws a lot of residents going for internal medicine, because the docs there are either peds or IM.

LJ Still Sucks

2007-02-17T14:29:50Z

Well, I tried once again to use LJ, and it still is taking forever for pages to come up. Not as bad as before, but still annoying enough to make me want to remain over on GJ.

So, my friends, please visit there if you wanna.

http://seattlekos.greatestjournal.com/

Peace, love and guitars,
Kos aka trek_grrl

New John Denver Board

2007-01-30T12:21:03Z

Anyone who likes anything about/by John Denver is welcomed to join:

http://starwood.proboards78.com/index.cgi

Membership needs to be approved, but that won't take too long, seeing as I can play on the internet at work. Gawd, I love my job.

Greatest American Hero Room Party at Norwescon 30

2007-01-30T11:01:45Z

Which is over Easter weekend.

I posted about this room party over in the NWC LJ community, about if people would go to this, and have received three positive responses (no negatives).

Mightyflorist mentioned the GAH DVDs, and I went to his LJ, but didn't want to just burst in with stuff about GAH that didn't relate to his entries at all, so I thought I'd post here.

He mentioned the DVDs being out, which is true, you can purchase the entire series.

I'm writing this to suggest that if someone's going to buy the series, and fondly remembers the show and wants to re-learn it (pretty much as most of us had to), you'll want to get the deluxe tin set that includes some extras.

EXTRAS

A cape. No kidding, a real cape. Problem is, it's not nearly as nice as Ralph's in the series.

An iron-on transfer of the suit emblem. This is good, but the problem is it's too small. Not worthy of putting on a t-shirt or potential GAH costume of the suit. Maybe put it on a denim purse, I dunno.

The instruction book. BINGO! We have a winner, winner, winner! I haven't seen this instruction book yet, but my fellow fen on the GAH board assure me it's fabulous and an exact replica of the one we see on the season three opener (and what many agree is the best episode of the series), "Divorce Venusian Style." Some fen bought the new set, even though they already own the whole series, just for this instruction book.

GRIPES ABOUT THE DVDs

The main one: the cover songs that were in the original episodes are gone. No more "Rocket Man," "Help Me, Rhonda" and (sadly enough) no "Eve of Destruction." And many other cover songs that Joey Scarbury and/or L.A. Freeway performed (that's the singing group Ralph's students form for a time). I guess the producers, including Stephen J Cannell, didn't want to have to deal with royalties of having such songs. However, the original songs, written for the show mostly by Stephen Geyer, are intact. The very bestest one (in my opinion) is "We're Opposites," in the above-mentioned "Divorce Venusian Style."

Episode Titles on the DVD Cases: At least two of them are wrong (okay, one could just be counted as a typo, but it still irks me). Instead of "Saturday on Sunset Boulevard" the case says "Saturday Night on Sunset Boulevard." The other is "Lilac's, Mr. Maxwell" instead of "Lilacs, Mr. Maxwell." Gawd, I hate when people use an 's to denote plural, don't you?

Episodes out of sequence: For Season Three, the episodes listed on the DVD cases are not in the sequence they were aired, as Seasons One and Two are. It's important that they're watched in sequence, because that excrement "Thirty Seconds Over Little Tokyo" is first, then "Divorce Venusian Style," the season opener. "Thirty Seconds..." is agreed upon as being the worst aired episode, and "Divorce..." the best. "Thirty Seconds..." was also the last aired episode (small wonder they ended the series on the worst one ever, kind of like Star Trek ended with "Turnabout Intruder.")

The Greatest American Heroine: This was a pilot for a series not picked up by NBC (ABC produced GAH, btw.) For some reason, they included this in the Season One set. Most GAH fans unilaterallly hate it. I kind of liked it myself. If you're going to watch this, I'd suggest you watch "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" first, then GAHeroine (as we abbreviate it). I won't tell you why, just do it. You'll understand. To put it simply, in GAHeroine, Ralph has to give up the suit. Watch to learn more. (It's got the original three main actors of Robert Culp, William Katt and Connie Sellecca in it, btw.)

The Good Stuff about the DVDs: It's got four unaired (in original run) episodes, including one written and directed by Robert Culp, "Vanity, Says the Preacher." Many think "Vanity..." is one of the worst episodes as well, and I'm an RC fan and have to agree. It's just too much episode in 43 minutes. "It's Only Rock & Roll" is pretty good, and has Judson Scott playing a rocker in it. "Wizards & Warlocks" is mediocre, as is "Desperado" but that's just my opinion. These four are in the Season Three set.

Sadly, GAH only had one complete season, number Two.

Shouting out to my LJ friends!

2007-01-30T00:45:04Z

Whoohoo, the problem with LJ pages taking 30 seconds at a time to paint seems to be over. I'd already noticed it was faster, but now with Firefox, it seems to be perfectly normal.

I've been having a blast over on greatestjournal, under my seattlekos ID and I'm such a loser, I can't insert the link in here.

Any way, since there's gobs and gobs of Friends pages to catch up on, not to mention all the Seattle LJ community stuff, I just went over the most recent entries, sorry!

Hope you're all well, happy, having a great day/week/month/year so far.

So has LJ wised up?

2007-01-19T18:30:40Z

I came back over here when Jes left me a nice comment in another thread. Looks like LJ's on the mend. At least from my fast computer here at work.

If that's the case, I'll prolly be over here more often.

Way more stuff at http://seattlekos.greatestjournal.com/ and my fanfic-only GJ http://kosfanfic.greatestjournal.com/

Peace out, y'all!

Kos.

Just checking LJ...

2006-12-08T13:53:50Z

And it's STILL taking forever to do anything. You should see how many on GJ defected from LJ, it's funny. They're getting a lot of business.

Some benefits of GJ: NO ADS on journals. It's completely FREE. It uses the same code as LJ, like the cut, so it's easy for LJ'ers to navigate. And it doesn't take 30 fucking seconds to go page to page.

I'll check back again, to see (some day) if LJ's straightened up their shit or not.

Peace to all my LJ friends, love you! Happy holidays!

I'm on GJ as seattlekos, if anyone cares to pop by.

http://seattlekos.greatestjournal.com/

I've defected to GJ.

2006-11-29T16:21:53Z

So it's not enough that I have to wait about 30 seconds every fucking time I change pages in LJ, now going to post this entry, it gives me errors and shit, till I FINALLY managed to get "Post an entry."

I'm tired of LJ. I'm on greatestjournal now, under seattlekos:

http://seattlekos.greatestjournal.com/

Feel free to visit, join, get your own GJ, add me as Friend. I'm working on a new community as well, dedicated solely to classic Star Trek.

I created my GJ originally to post my fan fiction on, but it's blossoming into more than that. So this trek_grrl LJ is now on long-term hiatus. Thanks to my pals who've commented and added me as Friend.

I'll probably check in once or twice a year to the LJ Robert Culp community I started, but I ain't guaranteeing it. I'm too busy being co-admin of Culpalicious(tm).

LJ's pissing me off

2006-11-10T12:09:58Z

Does anyone know WHY every time I go to a page in LJ, it pauses and pauses for WAY too long? It's getting really freakin' annoying, esp. when I go BACK to a page I've already been on. Isn't that what a cache is for??

I know I don't have the fastest computer in the world (poor thing's well over 5 years old), but this has only started happening recently. Even on my really good and fast computer at work. It's making me so I don't want to LJ, if I have to wait forever (okay, it seems like forever) to surf from page to page.

OKCupid's Politics Test

2006-11-09T20:28:58Z

You are a
Social Liberal
(73% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(36% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Greatest American Hero Ep Guide

2006-11-08T12:16:39Z

I came up with this episode guide for my sister when she was going to borrow the entire series' DVDs from me. It's a WIP, since I've seen many eps more often, and have a more-informed opinion of them. I've rated them too, from 1 star to 5 stars. All very subjective, of course, and from a Maxwell Maniac's POV.

For those of you who don't remember, or were little bitty kids (I was in college, I'm old), GAH was an ABC show, produced by Stephen J. Cannell ("Rockford Files, "A-Team" for two examples of his work) that featured a high school teacher (William Katt) who was given a suit by aliens (the little green guys). With this suit, he could fly, go invisible, have super-strength and all sorts of other stuff. It only worked on him. When he was out of the suit, he was as normal as anyone else. The night he's given the suit, he's also thrown in with FBI Special Agent Bill Maxwell (Robert Culp), who is enlisted as the Operations guy on the team. He finds the cases they need to work on each week. The two are quite different from one another, and lock horns a few times in the Pilot ep (and throughout the series), but it doesn't take long for them to become best friends.

SEASON ONE

* This one sucks, watch only if you're desperate
**Might be good for one scene, but otherwise mediocre
***Middle-of-the-road, not great, not bad. Probably contains at least two or three good/great scenes or a good teaser/tag
****Has more great scenes than not, good interaction between the leads, definitely worth seeing
*****GREAT episode, watch this if nothing else!

Pilot 03/18/1981**** The one that started it all. Bill's and Ralph's initial meeting is especially good, when Tony pulls a knife on Bill and Bill pulls a gun on Tony just as fast. Shows what a total asshole Bill Maxwell is at first. To quote Ralph, when Bill abandons him in the desert, all alone: "YOU JERK!"

The Hit Car 03/25/1981**** The only episode where Bill & Pam flirt with one another, per Robert Culp. Bill really gets banged up in this one (more than usual, that is). Great Bill quote, regarding the woman they're fetching to testify: "Yeah, and you can't find her IQ in a searchlight!" First regular episode.

Here's Looking At You, Kid 04/01/1981*** Ralph learns to go invisible. The tag is good in that Bill is reaching out to Ralph in friendship, his first real attempt to do so, to tell him "Thank you" or rather, he says, "Here's lookin' at you, kid!"

Saturday Night on Sunset Boulevard 04/08/1981**** Bill fails his required lie detector test because of Ralph, the green guys and the suit.

Reseda Rose 04/15/1981*** Rhonda's mother, who's moonlighting as a file clerk at a technology company, discovers one of the executives is a Soviet agent. She gets kidnapped, and Bill and Ralph come to her rescue. Has some great bits, like when Bill and Rose are interacting.

My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys 04/29/1981***** A must-see for any Bill OR Ralph fan. It carries two storylines: Ralph's dilemma about retaining the suit or giving it up (after he almost causes a bus-load of tourists to dive over a cliff) and Bill's dilemma of watching his hero, his former Army Captain turned L.A. police lieutenant, go bad. Ralph meets one of the two men who played the Lone Ranger in the 50's. Extraordinarily great acting by Culp.

Fire Man 05/06/1981 **** Overall a good episode, with Tony Villicana as one of the mains this time. One good thing I love: it pits Bill against Ralph & Pam toward the beginning. Many funny lines from all four leads.

The Best Desk Scenario***** Ralph's voted Vice Principal by the students, Pam is given a junior partnership in her firm, and to quote Bill, "And there's good ol' Dumbo Maxwell, chugging across the finish line, while people in the stands are screaming Go, geezer, go!" Bill's having a hard mid-life crisis, watching his two younger friends advance and he seems to be going nowhere (this is before he's rated Top Field Agent in the nation, which happens later in the series.)

SEASON TWO (The only complete season of the series, unfortunately)

* This one sucks, watch only if you're desperate
**Might be good for one scene, but otherwise mediocre
***Middle-of-the-road, not great, not bad. Probably contains at least two or three good/great scenes or a good teaser/tag
****Has more great scenes than not, good interaction between the leads, definitely worth seeing
*****GREAT episode, watch this if nothing else!

The 200MPH Fastball 11/04/1981*** Has some great shots of Bill & Ralph actually having fun together. When we first meet the two, it's hard to believe they have anything in common, yet in this one we find one common love: baseball. Why they started Season Two with this one, and not the next aired episode, is hard to imagine. Markie Post guest-stars.

Operation: Spoilsport 11/11/1981***** Any GAH fan will agree: this is one of the top three best, if not the best. The DVD version sucks in that it doesn't have the original song of "Eve of Destruction," as sung by Joey Scarbury. It totally loses something without that important song, when Bill's deliberately looking up a man's name after military intelligence had informed the FBI that the case was closed. As he's tapping into the computers, the song starts, the Black Ops helicopter is on its way, and Bill is apprehended. Very tense moment and memorable over the decades since first-run. The movie "Wargames" totally rips off this episode (it premiered at least a year or two after this GAH ep). So many wonderful scenes and quotes that they can't be mentioned here, although the part where Bill's doped up and all whoozy is especially hysterical.

Don't Mess Around With Jim 11/18/1981*** This is considered one of the better eps on the GAH board I hang out on, but I consider it pretty mediocre. Don't want to spoil who Jim is, as most episode guides do. It's important not to know when you watch for the first time. Has a couple good scenes, especially the ending when Bill really opens up to Ralph on some very personal stuff going through his head.

Hog Wild 11/25/1981*** I haven't seen this often enough, that's how mediocre it is. Has some great one-liners from Bill, as always, especially when he's messing with the head of this biker who's left in charge of keeping him and an old couple prisoner. That scene's rather reminiscent of Kelly Robinson for me (Robert Culp in "I Spy") because Kelly was held captive so very often. But the way Bill uses the mind games on the guy, whittling away at him, it's Robinsonesque.

Classical Gas 12/02/1981*** This one's pretty good, all-in-all. It guest-stars Edward Winter (Colonel Flagg from MASH) as an oily record exec that suddenly and inexplicably makes good. Robert Culp shows he knows martial arts (okay, when it's not his stunt double throw in), when he beats the crap out of someone (the big bad guy). He really does know it, since before "I Spy." He's trained in kenpo.

The Beast in the Black 12/09/1981***** Another of the Top Three Greatest Episodes. It's all about Bill & Ralph in this one. Robert Culp does an incredibly great job in this one, playing a man possessed by a woman's evil spirit. Ralph has faced the Beast once, and voluntarily does so again to help Bill once the woman takes over the FBI agent's body. An actually scary episode, this one apparently impacted many youngsters on first-run, who never forgot it, how incredibly frightening it was.

The Lost Diablo 12/16/1981 **** The "bad guys" portion of this story is dumb, but overall I really enjoy it, with the kids, Ralph, Pam and Bill going prospecting for gold and looking for the infamous Diablo mine. The ending scene is one of the three best I chose for this season on the GAH board; it never fails to bring me to tears. Won't spoil it by saying what it is, but the whole ep's worth watching just for that.

Plague 01/06/1982 ***** On first-run, I was mixing this episode up in my memories with O:SS. This is the ep that I fell in love with Bill Maxwell, when I realized what a helluva guy he is. What did it was this: He's being held out of an aloft helicopter, a crazy paramilitary "general" is trying to get him to talk, and Bill just gives this dude a "Burn in hell, fucker!" look. Bill doesn't know Ralph's on the way, either. The "general" has Bill tossed out the chopper, and of course Ralph saves him. The little scene once they "land" (read: crash) is good too, when Bill's very shaken up and thanking Ralph profusely. Kind of creepy to watch nowadays, what with the alleged threats of bio-warfare with smallpox and anthrax. Another foreshadowing of things to come: the "general" refers to Arabs as "camel jockeys" who're money grubbers because of oil.

Train of Thought 01/13/1982 **** Has more good scenes than not. Proves that Ralph is not invulnerable, when he clocks himself on a moving train car. The scene after he comes to, when he's got selective amnesia, is good. Ralph is extremely angry with Bill Maxwell, only remembering that this jerk pulled a gun on one of his students, almost hit him with his car and abandoned him out in the desert. In other words, the day they met, in the Pilot episode. The look on Bill's face is extraordinary, the hurt and pain he feels at his best friend and partner treating him like that. Great dialogue between Pam and Bill too, when Pam lays down the law (like Bill usually does) and tells Bill that they're going to help Ralph her way: slow and steady. Bill says, "Ralph's important to me, too, you know" very quietly.

Now You See It 01/20/1982 **** Ralph discovers the power of precognition, which I suspect only comes to the fore because Pam's involved. He "sees" a plane take a dive and crash (and discovers later, via a holograph, that Pam is on-board), while he and Bill are out in the desert practicing with the suit. Another new suit ability: Bill can share what Ralph "sees" in both precognition and holographing. Sadly, the writers don't seem to always remember Bill and Ralph can share this, and it's not used nearly as often as it should be in subsequent episodes. One funny shot: Ralph taking Bill's hand in his own, to show Bill the flight recorder Ralph seems to be holding. A man on a horse rides by, looks at the two holding hands, and shakes his head in dismay.

The Hand-painted Thai 01/27/1982 **** Stupid title, really good episode. Shows what a helluva guy Bill is once again, when a fellow FBI agent goes around the bend, and Bill's the only one visiting him and taking an interest in the guy. The guy snaps and shoots at Bill, Ralph and Rhonda, yet Bill never once pulls his firearm to shoot back, he's just concerned about the guy. Sad depiction of some of the atrocities that went on in the Viet Nam "war."

Just Another Three-Ring Circus 02/03/1982 **** This is, IMO, the single funniest episode of all. It's got way too much humor to go into, but essentially it's this: Carlisle gives Bill the unenvied task of finding a kidnapped Polish clown. Throw Maxwell some crap, and he comes up smelling like diamonds. I can't say how, it's near the end, but it turns out that Bill, Ralph and Pam literally save hundreds of CIA agents. On the way to doing that, there're lots of great lines from Bill, especially when he gets his most recent Bureau-issued car (he's already destroyed, um... 3? by now.)

The Shock Will Kill You 02/10/1982 *** Has some good bits. The beginning, when Ralph needs to land the out-of-control and unpowered Space Shuttle Columbia, is excellent. He is facing a dilemma of "Can even I do this??" If he does nothing, the shuttle will crash into downtown Bakersfield (that city really gets it a lot in this series). Another one of those creepy foreshadowing things, what with the real demise of the Columbia. The "monster" is cheesy as hell, as usual, but an interesting concept in an alien coming to Earth via the disabled shuttle. Pam comes through with a lot of good ideas in this one (eg, when Ralph is super-charged after landing the shuttle, she suggests he discharge via a railroad track, to disburse the electricity).

A Chicken in Every Plot 02/17/1982 **** Another one with a stupid title, but a really good episode. Many great scenes in here. Connie Sellecca shows what an awesome actress she is; she does "scared to death" extremely well. Lots of funny quips from Bill, of course. The "ugly American" scene is a hoot, with Bill being the typical ugly American and Ralph explaining to Pam what Bill's going to do each time, and he's right. Opening insult, flash the badge, etc. etc. Ralph's got Bill pegged. Ralph gets truly angry at someone, while in the suit, and Bill needs to hold him back from killing the guy. Great Bill quote: When you're messing with us, you're messing with some bad ju-ju, boss! One of the only eps filmed in a foreign location.

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea 02/24/1982 **** Overall an enjoyable episode, still being filmed in the Caribbean. When Ralph tells Bill to return (Bill had to go back to the US, Ralph and company did not), that "This is IT!" Bill's very excited that this is the Case of the Century. Turns out Ralph's got it in his head that there's a sea monster in the Devil's Triangle. Needless to say, Bill's not pleased.

It's All Downhill From Here 03/03/1982 *** One of the main good bits: Bill has to team up with a tree-hugger hippie-type, and reluctantly admits in the end that she was a big help (and she has to give props to Bill too for his part in what they accomplished).

Dreams 03/17/1982 *** This is definitely worth watching. Ralph sets things in motion by using his suit to help a guy get a game sold, and from there, his co-workers decide to take risks and Ralph does his best to stop them from ruining their lives, blaming himself since they took the idea from the guy selling the game and making good. It's a frenetic episode, and frustrating because you feel what Ralph's going through. Katt does a good job in this one. The song "Dreams" by Stephen Geyer was written for this. I found out years later (like, in 2006) that John Denver's song "Dreams" is the same one! He must've seen the ep, and like the song enough to do a cover of it. It's one of the few eps that ends with a song other than the theme.

There's Just No Accounting 03/24/1982 ** Really aggravating ep, showing what jerks the IRS can be.

The Good Samaritan 03/31/1982 **** Only seen it once, but thoroughly enjoyed it. Has some good interaction between the three leads, with guest-star Keenan Wynn. The finale is sweet.

Captain Bellybuster and the Speed Factory 04/07/1982 * Excrement, pretty much. I can't believe Cannell and Lupo, both of whom have written really good eps, came up with this POS. Might have one or two good Bill lines. The ending, when Bill explains the "guy in the red suit" to his boss, Carlisle, is the only redeeming quality.

Who's Woo in America 04/14/1982 **** Rapidly becoming one of my favorite episodes. It guest-stars Barbara Hale, William Katt's mother, as Ralph's mother Paula. Has a lot of intrigue and complexity to it in a fun way. The final scene is extremely good and funny, when Bill's asking Ralph if he can bring his mother to dinner and drinks. One of the best Bill/Ralph scenes in the series.

Lilacs, Mr. Maxwell 04/28/1982 **** Oddly enough, I don't give this a five-star rating, even though Robert Culp wrote and directed it. It's certainly not on the same par as O:SS, Beast in the Black or the next aired ep, "Divorce Venusian Style." Dixie Carter guest-stars as a KGB agent sent to investigate Maxwell's 98% "kill rate" in closing cases successfully, and the two end up falling in love. New power: animal mind control. Bill reveals he's had a wife, but we dont' know if he's divorced or widowed. Borrows a line from an "I Spy" episode he wrote, "Magic Mirror" (one of my favorites), when the bad guy says he never knew if O'Neil (Carter) was going to get the microfilm or a pound of salami. One annoying thing: we never know what O'Neil's first name is. Another annoying thing: they never show them actually kissing, but the sexual innuendo is definitely there. I remember watching this first-run and how it really impacted me enough to remember the title all these years, although I hadn't realized Culp wrote and directed it till recently.

SEASON THREE (including four unaired episodes)

* This one sucks, watch only if you're desperate
**Might be good for one scene, but otherwise mediocre
***Middle-of-the-road, not great, not bad. Probably contains at least two or three good/great scenes or a good teaser/tag
****Has more great scenes than not, good interaction between the leads, definitely worth seeing
*****GREAT episode, watch this if nothing else!

Divorce Venusian Style 10/29/1982 ***** I'd give this a six-star rating if I could. Like one reviewer said, "You had it at 'Ralph gets shot.'" It opens with Ralph and Bill on stake-out duty, they have a huge falling out, and Ralph packs and leaves. Ralph: It's been real fun! Bill: Who needs you any way?? Then, amazingly enough, they go into a really good song, written just for these two characters. One line: We're opposites, we're idiots, but we're still friends. So, Ralph returns when the bad guys make an appearance, takes care of business, then tells Bill, That's it, I'm giving up the suit. He leaves the suit with Bill. Neo-nazis, who've been watching Bill watching the bank robbers, start shooting at Bill. Ralph hears it and runs back, sans suit. He sees a guy about to shoot Bill and throws himself in front of Bill, getting critically wounded. From there, all disagreements and fights end, when we see how much the two men really love and care about one another. Bill, who's terrified of the green guys, doesn't hesitate to bring Ralph to be beamed up. Before this, one of the greatest scenes in the series. Ralph (choking out, almost crying from pain) "They're sending down... another partner... as good as me!" Bill: "I've got the best partner in the world, I don't want another partner!" The ending is very funny, as Bill, Ralph and Pam are searching through the desert sand for the now-miniaturized instruction booklet, and the song begins again. Great way to start Season Three, but sadly it was all downhill from this one.

The Price is Right 11/05/1982 *** Another mediocre ep, but it's got some great bits, like when Bill's teasing Ralph because Ralph claims to know a very famous football player, from high school. When Bill finds out Ralph's telling the truth, he's gushing like a schoolgirl when he meets one of his football heroes. We learn a bit more about Bill's teen years, that he was on the h.s. football team.

This Is the One the Suit Was Meant For 11/12/1982 ** Pam's a real hag in this one, I mean really, griping at Ralph 'cause he had the audacity to help Bill nab some bank robbers, while the robbery was in progress, and missed some stupid-ass dinner party she'd planned. One good bit: Bill in a puffy white shirt, rowr rowr. We learn Ralph can fly faster than Mach 6. Ralph proposes to Pam for real (finally).

The Resurrection of Carlini 11/19/1982 *** Eh. Doesn't suck. I should add this is a favorite of an online buddy, partly because it stars Andrew Robinson, the guy who plays Garak in ST: Deep Space 9. He's one of three magicians in the episode. Okay, I should give it five stars, just for Robert Culp in a pirate outfit and curly hair. Rowr, rowr. Tight black shirt, whew. Oh yeah, the menfolk will enjoy Pam in her Elivra outfit, cleavage and all.

The Newlywed Game 01/06/1983 *** Ralph and Pam marry. Some say after two seasons' worth of build-up, this was too fast, but the three of them were in a hurry (they didn't want to get themselves or their guests/family killed). Bill being Best Man in a red gingham-print shirt is a hoot, he's such a slob and doesn't even care.

Heaven is in your Genes 01/13/1983 **** A good Bill episode, we get to hear more about what an extraordinary agent he is. Granted, his "kill rate" is mostly due to Ralph's help, but some of the things herr Doktor is reading off has nothing to do with Ralph, eg, Bill's rated "above genius" in problem-solving skills. Bill's taken hostage by a geneticist, who reveres Dr. Mengele, to find out why he's so exceptional. Many complain about this ep cuz of the appearance of the wrestler Andre the Giant, but he's in the storyline for a reason (one of the doctor's experiments). The beginning, when we see Bill "die," is really good. What sucks is that nobody from the FBI comes to Bill's funeral. Only Pam, Ralph and some of the students attend. The part where Ralph and Pam are going through Bill's things, and find a journal, is really good. This is when Ralph holographs on Bill, after putting on the fishing hat, and at first thinks he's seeing Heaven. Many complain that their reaction to learn Bill's alive is not as emotional as it should be, but they learn in stages, first the holograph of blue-sky (heaven?) then hearing Bill's voice, and then finally seeing him alive in an airport cafe.

Live at Eleven 01/20/1983 *** This should be about 3 1/2 stars. It's a goodie, but not quite 4-star material. Ralph is directly exposed to plutonium, and soon discovers a new power: the mind push. He practices on Bill and Pam, much to their dismay. They're AWARE of it, after the fact, or if one tells the other Ralph did it. Those scenes alone make the ep worth it. The main story is a very popular newscaster (William Windom) is being let go, and he decides to run for president. Ralph picks this up in a holograph/precognition. It's very "Dead Zone"-ish (the movie, not the series). Ralph sees him as a psycho president, and they know they have to stop him. He uses the mind push to make the guy spill the beans, on national TV, and the power's gone.

Space Ranger 01/27/1983 * Only good scene: Ralph thinks Bill's beating on this high school kid, who's hiding from the commies in Bill's apartment, but it turns out Bill's playing a video game with the kid instead. Otherwise, this one pretty much sucks.

Thirty Seconds Over Little Tokyo 02/03/1983 * Can't think of any redeeming qualities of this one, it's probably the worst ep of the series.

Unaired in original run:

Wizards and Warlocks *** Not too bad, but not great. Kinda weird for me, having played both AD&D and live-action role-playing games in my college youth.

It's Only Rock and Roll *** This one's pretty good. Judson Scott (Joachim from "The Wrath of Khan") plays a rocker, and it's Bill's job to protect him. And we all know how Bill hates rock and roll. The scenes between these two make it worth it. Good scene between Scott's character and Pam, when he's reminiscing about the early days, ala Simon & Garfunkel and other folkie duets. Pam's got one of his original albums, she's that big of a fan.

Desperado Erm... I've seen it once. That's how unremarkable this one is.

Vanity, Says the Preacher * Yes, I'm giving an ep written and directed by Robert Culp a one-star rating. I almost didn't finish it and I had never seen it before, it was that bad. Two of Culp's sons are guest-stars, one of whom plays the young Bill Maxwell (okay, that little bit didn't suck, it actually was pretty cool). Too many leaps in logic and faith, as is Culp's style (he likes subtlety and innuendo in his scripts); many have said this should have been a two-parter, it had too much to fit into one script. Lots of continuity holes in it (eg, when did Pam get the ability to see what Ralph's seeing, like Bill can?) I've asked others HOW some think Bill's the father of the older boy, and someone finally laid out all the little clues (which I don't remember now), and I realized, Wow, you're right! So there're very subtle intimations that the older boy is Bill's, after a little tryst with Mom some years before. But we never find out for sure.

"The Greatest American Heroine" Pilot for NBC, 1986 ****

I really liked this one, although most GAH fans blast it, and many consider it non-canonical. That's absurd: it was done by Cannell, it has the original cast in it. They just dont' want to admit that Ralph, through his own actions, has to give up the suit to someone else, who turns out to be a young lady named Holly (Ralph at least gets to choose who he passes the suit to). I laughed through a lot of this, as first Bill reacts to "a skirt" getting the suit, then the two having to learn to be partners. Holly is so lovey-dovey and touchy-feely, she makes Ralph seem like an ogre. My main complaint: it ended too soon. Being a pilot, I'm sure they had a lot more in mind. The final scene, when Holly's telling her foster-daughter about the suit and Bill, is very sweet. Bill's listening in, without Holly knowing, and his reactions are great, esp. when she tells Sarah about him. Like I've pointed out on the GAH board when the majority bitch about Holly, I've said, Look, she's Bill's worst nightmare. He thought RALPH was bad? I would've definitely watched this if it had been picked up by NBC, the ones they tried to sell it to. Apparently the original concept was Robert Culp's, who went to SJC about it. But I still think the Ralph fans are pissed 'cause their boy messed up. Essentially, it got out that he had the suit, and suddenly he's a celebrity. He goes on talk shows, etc etc... then the green guys say, Okay, that's it, give the suit up. They make the whole planet forget everything they've learned about Ralph and the suit, but concede and permit Pam, Ralph and Bill remember.

A note to my Yuletide Secret Santa

2006-11-08T11:32:31Z

I was pretty clear on my wishlist, but I wanted to add content requests...

I've written MA (18+) stories before, slash and het, so that doesn't bother me. There're a few things I won't read, write or do... Please don't include (I squick to think it) fisting, golden showers or scat play. I think those are the ultimate squicks. Explicit anal in slash is fine, but I'm not into the het anal stuff. Thanks so much for your effort, whoever you are!

GAH Hetfic, Bill/Pam/Ralph 18+

2006-11-08T11:04:49Z

Hetfic, one-shot, please be sure you're 18+ before reading.

Content Warning: Oral, Anal.

"Take a Slow Ride on Me" (from the song "Slow Ride" by Foghat)

Take A Slow Ride On Me

(Author's Note: This is my very first scene like this, in more ways than one. I did it all for Noir... Make sure you read it AFTER work, and make sure the hubby's somewhere within easy reach.)

Bill heard the bass of Ralph’s new stereo system the minute he turned off the car in front. He spied both the stationwagon and VW bug, so knew his best friend and his fiancee were home. The song was so loud, he wasn’t sure if they’d hear him, so he called out, and felt the door handle. Seeing it was unlocked, he pushed the door open, looking around.

“Ralph? Counselor?” he called out, but the song was too loud. Couldn’t hear nuclear ordnance in this racket, he thought, heading to the patio to see if they were barbecuing.

The song ended while he was outside, checking the grill, and he called again, “Ralph?”

When he returned to the living room, the next song started, a pounding, driving bass drum. Not another one, Maxwell thought. He'd heard this song before, from the 70s when he was on a case in Detroit, but as usual, it wasn't his style.

"Ralph? Counselor?" he called again, but the music was so loud it drowned him out.

A bass guitar kicked in over the drum, then the lead picked it up. Bill walked in front of the chest-high speakers Ralph had boasted about, woofers and sub-woofers vibrating so much he felt it in his bones and chest. And somewhere else: it was making him get stiff in his light blue jeans.

Oh brother, he thought, shaking his head. He had to pinch his ears closed with his fingers as he walked by.

He went back to the hallway leading to the bedrooms, and Ralph's door was ajar. Bill's heart raced as he wondered if he should push it open, to see if his friends were inside.

Well, if they are, I can always turn and walk away, none the wiser.

As the door opened, Bill's eyes were wide at the sight he saw: Pam, naked, squatting on her feet, her butt resting on her heels, with Ralph's cock in her mouth. His best friend was leaning on a pile of pillows against the headboard, head back, eyes closed, the look of rapture on his face mesmerizing, as Bill imagined it was HIM in that position, with Pam's mouth around him and... and....

He suddenly realized he was being a voyeur, and he'd have to summon the strength to turn away from these beautiful young people he knew so well, enjoying an intimate moment.

A slight breeze from the opened door touched Ralph, and he smiled as the coolness hit him, opening his eyes, only to discover his older best friend standing in the doorway, frozen in place, his gaze moving from Pam's round ass and hips, to her mouth, to Ralph's blue eyes.

Bill gasped when he realized Ralph had spotted him, and opened his mouth to spout profuse apologies, but Ralph shook his head, denying any offense.

Ralph loosened one hand he had gripping the sheets while Pam's mouth did her magic, and he motioned to Bill, waving him in. "Bill, come on. Join us. Pam and I want you to, we've..." a gasp interrupted him as Pam nodded her head, humming an acknowledgement, the vibrations going up the length of Ralph's cock.

"We-- We want you to, we've talked about this, now'd be a good time!"

"Hmmm mmm," Pam intoned again, in a sing-song voice, not wishing to break the suction nor the rhythm as she expertly tongued her fiancee.

"C'mon, baby, take a slow ride on me, c'mon BABY, take a slow ride! Ah, feels good, feels all right now, I like it....."

Now Bill understood why his young friends had such a raunchy, erotic song playing. He'd already started reacting to the song, and he hadn't known why... now he did. He was probably subconsciously picking up what was happening in the bedroom, little moans and sighs that permeated his consciousness through the driving beat of the blaring stereo.

He stood for a moment, Ralph holding his gaze, and finally shrugged, pulling off his vest, then gun holster. "Ah, what the hell," he mumbled, and Pam smiled around Ralph's erection, wiggling her ass in appreciation.

Bill found himself standing behind her, and couldn't keep from staring at the long, smoothe pale back, with brunette waves cascading over her shoulders, the hips that were just ACHING for him to grab them and pull her to him, over and over.

His eyes slid over the most perfectly round ass he'd ever seen in his life, the tissue flexed from her squatting in front of Ralph, the tiny pink hole practically winking at him in invitation.

Ralph watched Bill watch Pam, his partner's eyes slowly moving down her, stopping at her ass, and he couldn't help but chuckle. He knew what his older friend was after, first thing.

He said quietly, "Pam," to get her attention, and when she looked at him, he motioned behind her at Bill, letting her know what Bill wanted, NEEDED, to start their little party off.

Ralph lost himself again in what Pam was doing, knowing she could prolong it as long as she pleased, till her own need would call an end to it and she'd mount him to finish him off. This time, it was going to be different, and he couldn't wait to come down her throat, something she rarely let him do.

He opened his eyes after a moment, and Bill was there, naked, behind his own fiancee. Ralph couldn't wait to see Bill going at Pam, and his eyes went wide when he saw the long, thick cock of his partner. Oh, man, is Pam going to love THIS! he smiled, knowing SHE couldn't see what was about to hit her from behind.

It hadn't taken Maxwell long to get ready, not with that gorgeous ass in front of him, waiting to be filled with his cock. He reached down to Pam, touching her back with a long, languid slide of his fingertips, humming soothingly to her, the strokes giving her chills up her sides.

A moan of appreciation came from her, and Ralph reacted again, his head back. He wanted to WATCH, though, so he distanced himself somewhat from what she was doing, and saw Maxwell get down on his knees, positioning himself behind Pam.

She wriggled and shifted too, so the backs of her thighs were touching his, off then on, as she moved her mouth up and down Ralph. Bill put an arm around her waist, moving closer, his cock rubbing up and down the length of her, picking up her wetness and lubricating him for what he was about to do.

She reacted by pushing against him, her stiff clit hitting the mushroom-shaped head of his cock, and she moaned when she realized just how big her friend was down there.

"Oh, God," she uttered out loud, pulling away from Ralph momentarily, releasing his engorged cock with a smack of her pouty lips.

"Hmmm mmmm," Bill mumbled against her, his breath touching her ear, sending shivers up and down her neck. "Ready, darlin'?"

"God, yes, Bill," she said. He rubbed against her a couple of more times, his left arm still holding her, two long, slender fingers reaching into her, tweaking the hard little button. When he felt her shudder in anticipation, he knew she was prepped enough.

He pulled back, putting his moist fingers against that enticing pinkness, and he inserted them, probing, teasing, encouraging her to relax enough to permit him entry.

She gasped, arching back, her breasts protruding toward Ralph, who was lying perfectly still, stunned by what was happening in front of his very eyes: his best friend about to ass-fuck his fiancee, and he didn't even mind! In fact, he was about to get off just WATCHING it, knowing Pam was going to attack his cock once again, after they first got down to business.

Bill steadied Pam, one hand on her broad, thin shoulder while the other was working her over, preparing her for his girth.

He whispered, "You all right, hon?"

"Uh huh," she nodded vehemently, her eyes closed as she gloried in what her tall friend was doing. The long, slender digits felt like they were drilling into her very core, and she couldn't wait for him to continue.

She shook her hips against him, gasping as the motion drove his fingers in deeper. She alternately clenched and relaxed the muscles, showing him she was ready for him to slam into her.

"DO IT, Maxwell! FUCK me!" she gasped.

Bill rubbed his cock against her outer folds one more time to lubricate himself and her.

Without preamble, he pressed the fat tip of his cock against his fingers, pulled his hand back and grabbed both hips, his strength slamming Pam down against him, her thighs resting back on his as he buried himself in her.

As she fell back on him, encasing him, her muscles massaging that great length of cock, she screamed, "BILL!" and her hair flew to the side, revealing her long, perfecly white neck to him. He couldn't resist, and as he begn to move her up and down, thrusting to meet her, his hands lifting and dropping her, he lapped that beautiful neck.

Ralph, in the meantime, was so enthralled by what he was seeing, he automatically reached down, and began stroking himself back to hardness, knowing Pam was too distracted to get back to what she'd started, at least any time in the next few minutes.

Who wouldn't be, with that monster in there, stretching, straining in her, and Ralph knew the way she'd screamed that she'd climaxed instantly.

When Bill pile-drived into Pam, and she screamed as she climaxed, her muscles contracted, gripping him as waves and waves of pleasure overtook her. He almost lost it himself, but closed his eyes, concentrating, determined to drag this out as long as he humanly could.

As she relaxed into the motion he held her in, Bill became aware of the song once more. It had hit an instrumental bit, the tempo slowly increasing moment by moment. It was so subtle at first that Bill almost missed it, then he realized that the whole song, not just the lyrics, exuded sex.

The build-up in the song was like the build-up in sex, and he went with it, letting his body move, faster, faster, pushing deeper and deeper into Pam, the smoothe squeezing over his cock driving him insane.

Pam and Ralph knew this song, and knew how to time it perfectly to climax together as the song's finale hit its climax. Pam had returned to her earlier position between Ralph's legs, letting Bill grip her hips and move her.

She resisted slightly, to indicate to him that she was going to control the motion, like a conductor taking the baton. Being in the middle, she'd time it perfectly for the two men and herself.

Ralph knew that's what Pam had in mind, so he relaxed back, knowing her finale frenzy would overtake her soon. The long song was almost over.

Her mouth lapped up and down Ralph's cock, alternately sucking and nibbling as she knew he liked, saving the deep throating till seconds before the end. At the same time, she started fingering her clit, while Bill grasped her so snugly to him, her legs moving up and down to keep him in the proper beat, in, out, over and over.

Bill saw her hand reach down between her legs, knowing what she was doing, and the thought of her playing with herself almost did him in. As if reading his thoughts, Pam moved to indicate to him it wouldn't be much longer.

The squealing, howling guitars were a sharp contrast to the deep bass guitar and drum that the three felt more as a throb than sound, and Pam's hand worked furiously on her clit, her ass being pumped violently by Maxwell in time to her strong legs moving her up and down, her mouth attacking Ralph's cock like a fury.

She tweaked herself just so, knowing it was the final stroke to send her over the edge, and when that orgasm hit her, and her muscles contracted against Bill, he howled as he found his own release, slamming her against him, thrusting over and over as he emptied himself into the pulsating waves embracing him like an iron fist.

Ralph, when he knew Pam was close, leaned forward, twining his fingers in her long, silky hair, forcing her down on him again and again, and when she came, she reached behind Ralph, grabbing his ass to her for balance, letting him push down her throat as he came and came, his howling matching Bill's.

The song ended abruptly, and the house was silent, save for the three friends panting for breath. Pam collapsed against Ralph's muscular thighs, and Bill managed to pull himself away long enough to fold his legs under himself, his arms and head falling to the side of the bed.

Nobody spoke or moved for a second, then the next song started... "Afternoon Delight."

The three looked up at one another, and busted up laughing in joy, knowing how apropos that song was to follow the previous, and hoping they could all share many more afternoons as delightful as this one was turning out to be.

Fan Fiction for Rare Fandoms

2006-11-01T12:32:38Z

Visit my Friends list, and click on "yuletide" and go to their community LJ, and learn about the Yuletide yearly fanfic writing challenge.

It focuses on RARE fandoms, so you won't find the likes of Star Trek or Stargate SG-1.

You WILL, however, find "I Spy" (the TV show, not that POS movie) and "Greatest American Hero."

You choose three (or four) fandoms, the characters you want and put a brief description of what you want (wish) to happen.

Then, as a writer, you choose a fandom you'll happily write ANY character for, and/or you choose a fandom where you'll write specific characters.

I'm still just learning the whole thing myself.

Time's a'wastin': they're taking wishes till November 2nd! So go there now, sign up and we'll learn this together. Sounds like a hootenany!

I'm wondering why "WKRP in Cincinnati" isn't listed, however. It's certainly not a popular fandom to write (unfortunately). I wanted to do a Johnny/Bailey story (I promised Johnny in my little Mary Sue "What a Bunch of Characters" that he'd get her). There's no "Gilligan's Island" either.

ScenarioSmut, a new fanfic board

2006-10-28T19:20:20Z

Are you a fan of Greatest American Hero?

This site used to be dedicated to slashing characters of Robert Culp, but per popular demand (okay, a few online buddies asked me) it's been changed to Greatest American Hero only, all characters, hetero, boyslash, girlslash. It's still 18+ to join.

Don't let the URL fool you. It's not strictly slash any longer. If slash squicks you, your category for Hetero is 100% slash-free, no hint, no implication, nothing.

http://scenarioslash.proboards50.com/index.cgi

FANZINES!

2006-10-27T12:34:37Z

I'm desperate to find some other venue online for Greatest American Hero fan fiction, and through an anfractuous search on Google, I saw mention of fanzines.

magicjammies on the GAH board I frequent found this kickass site:

http://www.hoknes.com/fanzines.htm

They've got not only GAH, but The Bionic Woman, Quark, Space: 1999, I Spy and WKRP in Cincinnati. Lots of other cool classic shows too, but those alone will make it worth it.

I'm just wondering what the quality of the contents is. There's mention of fan fiction on the covers that they show, with one exception: nothing for WKRP in Cincinnati. I may have to remedy that. I've still got to get Johnny and Bailey together, after all, but that's another story.

If you want to join rabid GAH fans to talk about this show that was around far too briefly (1981-1983, for a whopping 42 episodes), visit http://tgah.proboards43.com/index.cgi .

Greatest American Hero Slash

2006-10-26T20:50:20Z

Is there ANY GAH slash out there?

GAH slash ficlet "That Fateful Day 1985"

2006-10-25T16:29:07Z

I've been batting this idea around for some time, about getting Bill & Ralph together... much to Pam's dismay.

It started out as a wee plot bunny, a "What if?"... What if Bill and Pam were simultaneously in danger, and Ralph (in the suit, of course) instinctively saves BILL first, not PAM?

Has a lot of potential for drama/angst and/or comedy.

Picture it... an earthquake.

Stay tuned if y'all are interested. I'll be updating periodically.

GAH Slash: What Happens At Cons

2006-10-23T02:57:32Z

I'm working on what may be a ground-breaking fanfic: the first M- or MA-rated GAH slash story anywhere on the Internet (if you know of some already out there, PLEASE let me know!).

It takes place at a sci-fi/fantasy con, Palmcon 9 (in Palmdale, CA, of course). I give content warnings chapter by chapter. It's now moved into M-rated territory (it's all been very T-rated so far). It'll soon be MA-rated. Once it goes MA-rated, it'll only be updated on AFF.net.

Visit my original fanfic blog at: http://sg1ninerfanfic.blogspot.com/ for links and detailed content warnings as AFF.net requires.

To set the stage, here's what happens: Kevin Hinkley wants to go to the con, but since he's a minor, he needs an adult guardian. Ralph agrees to take him, and of course Bill comes along. Pam's a non-entity in this story.

If you give it a go, please, please, please leave a review. Reviews earn good karma, did you know that?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3195091/1/

B,R slash. Ralph takes Kevin to Palmcon9 in Palmdale, CA. Ralph told Bill it's a sci fi and FANTASY con, so Bill takes him for his word and they live the fantasy. At least till they return to Mundania on Monday.
Greatest American Hero - Fiction Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7814 - Reviews: Not nearly enough, considering the hits the story's received - Updated: 10-22-06 - Published: 10-12-06

How the birthday weekend went

2006-10-21T17:47:54Z

Sept 8, Friday: I had the day off, and it was payday, so I went to downtown Seattle, got my paycheck, and was ready to buy, buy, buy stuff for sister and myself. Had fun, it was a gorgeous hot day in Seattle, bought a VERY cute hat and VERY cute sunglasses at the Bon (okay, Macy's) as part of my own presents to myself (and 'cause it was so glaringly bright outside, I thought I'd go blind.) Bought sis and me tie-dyed t-shirts at the Market, blah blah blah, had a wonderful day off, was very much looking forward to the 9th (my birthday) and going to the state park in Kitsap County.

Friday Evening: I come home, and right about 7pm I start sneezing like a fool. WHAM! This nasty head cold hit me that freakin' fast. I kid you not. My throat instantly got sore, my nose filled up like a sponge and I started coughing and shaking from chills.

Sept 9, Saturday: My birthday. Met up with my sister's ex, and he gave me some weed for her and me to share (it sucked, btw). I got the boat I was planning on catching, got to Bremerton and waited... and waited... and waited for sister, who KNEW when my boat was coming in. I didn't have my cell phone on me. Finally, in disgust, I walked up to the main road to call her, and she said, I've got a flat tire! I couldn't CALL you because you don't have your phone on! Take the bus up here. I told her the buses had left, and it'd be 45 minutes till the next one, why doesn't SHE come HERE?

She took the bus in and we had our little party in the new open area around the ferry terminal. They've been working on fixing up downtown Bremerton (anything would be an improvement.) We each had a bagful of presents to trade, so that was fun, almost like Christmas time. We laughed and talked and ooh'd and aah'd over our prizes. I bought us a couple of kickass burritos for lunch, then it was time for me to get the boat back home.

We didn't get to the park, but oh well. We had much fun. It was a huge improvement on my last milestone birthdays. We agreed we were going to do something special for one another every birthday from now on, now that it was just her and me (no Mom).

Sept 10, when we were supposed to go to the company picnic at the Mariners stadium: I had to beg off, 'cause I was sick. I would've been with doctors and medical assistants, so I couldn't risk getting them sick. I felt bad about it because I had two tickets that someone else could've used, but my employer (contracting agency) contacted my on-site supervisor, and he said not to worry about it, stay home and get better. Ended up missing two days' worth of work from being sick, so I was out 3 days in a row. They really didn't mind.

(Oh, the whole weekend, after it hit me Friday night, my nose was draining like a sieve... I sure couldn't go and talk to someone, just to have snot come pouring out my nose unexpectedly, could I?)